Life changes

When I started this blog, I ambitiously set a goal to write one post per day, maybe more if time allowed. Well time never allowed for multiple blog posts in one day, let alone a daily post. I don't think I've ever posted 7 days in a row--and I won't be starting now because...

• I have about a month's worth of vacation, sick, and compensation time to take between now and June 18th.
• Taylor and I are buying a house this month.

Yes, it is official--the bank has cleared us to close on our first ever home! Now, you may be wondering how a 22-year old and her new husband living in poverty could possibly be buying a house. I mean just 4 months ago we were still collecting food stamps. Well, to be quite honest, food stamps played a big part in this new adventure. Because of food stamps we were able to aggressively save more money than we ever could have if we had been paying for our groceries out of pocket. You'd be surprised how quickly that adds up. And when Taylor got his raise that made us ineligible for assistance, we already had a leg up to make the climb out of poverty: we had learned how to save.

(That, and the fact that we left some old savings bonds in tact, as well. By not cashing out my savings bonds to cover basic living expenses, we were able to afford a 10% down payment on our house.)

Some of you may also be wondering how we'll ever be able to afford a mortgage when we were counting our pennies just months ago. Well the bank wondered that, too. And they determined that because my AmeriCorps position is temporary (ending in June), only Taylor's income could count towards our loan eligibility. Still, the bank pre-approved us for a modest loan in January and we found an affordable short sale house in Cincinnati within our price range. We put an offer down on the house in February and then we waited. And waited. And finally we heard back at the beginning of April that our offer had been accepted. We met with our loan officer, crunched more numbers, had the house inspected, and voila! We were cleared to close on the house. After a little termite treatment this week, we hope to have the papers signed by the first week of May, just in time for the end of our lease on our apartment. Even with taxes, insurance, and interest, our monthly payments are only about $80 more a month than our rent right now, which we can easily float now that Taylor has paid off his $100 monthly car payments with his parents.

On paper we're good to go and we'll be even better off when I land a job that pays more than $4.83/hour. Despite our savings accomplishments and steps out of poverty, I still struggle with the idea that we "deserve" this house. Home ownership has always seemed like a dream for thirty-somethings established in their careers, not a couple of kids still working on their degrees. Deep down, I feel strange about buying a house less than a year after we were getting food stamps. From a societal standpoint, it doesn't seem to match up, does it? In my mind I know that the point of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program is to help people cover basic living expenses so that they can advance out of poverty. Still, I can't shake this nagging feeling of guilt surrounding this success in our lives. I can't put my finger on it, but it's almost as if I am breaking the rules or cheating the system by breaking out of poverty. That because I needed help at one point in my life, I owe society some type of debt equivalent to, oh, a lifetime in poverty. Just looking back at the beginning of this post, I find myself anticipating readers' objections and offering explanations for my home purchase before this post even hit the Internet. Had I been a middle-class professional in my early thirties, I doubt I would be explaining myself to my readers. It would seem like a natural next step.

I wonder if others transitioning out of poverty feel this overwhelming need to justify, downplay, or otherwise apologize for their successes. Given the critical eye of service providers and society in general, I wouldn't be surprised. And we wonder why people don't jump at the chance to jump out of poverty--it's scary and uncomfortable! I am realizing how important it will be as a future service provider to encourage and celebrate similar leaps in my clients' lives, and not be so quick to subconsciously question their decisions.