The Letter

I knew this day would come but I didn't know it would be so soon.

I got a letter from Butler County Job and Family Services last Friday. It reads as follows:

This is information about your benefits. Please read all pages.

We have made decisions about your cash, food, or medical benefits. You can appeal if you disagree with any of our decisions. This notice explains our decisions and how you can appeal. You can reapply at any time if we denied or stopped your benefits.

If you need translation or other help to read this notice or to communicate with us, contact your caseworker. You will find your caseworker's name and phone number below the Mailing Date above.

We will STOP your FOOD ASSISTANCE on 12/31/2009.

The people affected by this action are:
KAITL B (INELIGIBLE) TAYLO W (INELIGIBLE)

Reason: INCOME IS MORE THAN THE 130% GROSS INCOME STANDARD
We based this action on OHIO ADMINISTRATIVE CODE, Rule 5101:4-4-11

Yes. Because Taylor's gross income went up from $7.35 to $10.15/hour, our food stamps are stopping at the end of this year. Cold turkey. And it's funny, really. When Taylor and I first got our food stamps, I dreaded going through the check out line with our EBT card. Now I dread going through without it. Stigma or not, our food stamps helped us get on our feet this year. Not only were we able to afford quality, nutritious meals, but we were also able to put the hundreds of dollars we would have spent on food over the past 7 months towards other expenses, making it easier to pay down credit card debt and even build a small savings account. As of January 1st, though, we'll have to add food purchases to our limited budget. And to make matters worse, we'll be adding Taylor's health insurance premium and my car insurance premium into the mix, as well. Oh, and did I mention our wedding coming up in less than 4 months? It has its share of expenses, even with my parents footing a majority of the bill.

To prepare for this onslaught of expenses, we're putting as much money as we can into our savings and dramatically decreasing our spending. We anticipate buying less fresh food and more frozen and shelf-stable foods that tend to be a little cheaper, which should help lower our grocery bill.

Still, I'm nervous. Food stamps stabilized our household, and even though Taylor is making more money now, I'm nervous that our household will fall behind without them. I'm nervous that January 1st will mark a step backwards for us.

And remember how I mentioned that the holidays usually trigger a "VISTA slump" among VISTAs? Well, this isn't helping. Last Friday marked my 5-month anniversary as a VISTA. And to be completely honest, I'm not sure if my VISTA-ship was the best idea. Now more than ever, I find myself feeling down about how little I'm contributing to our household financially. As the breadwinner of our family, Taylor has had to shoulder a major burden to keep us afloat. He's taking 11 hours of pre-nursing classes and working 39-40 hours a week in some pretty tiring shifts. He's even considering joining the Oxford volunteer fire department to bring in a little extra money on the weekends. He's working so hard and doing so much that I just wish I could do a little more; bring a little more money to the table to make our lives a little easier. But because I'm a VISTA, I'm barred from working a second job--not even have a morning paper route.

To put it simpy: it sucks. It just sucks.