The who of abuse

It's been quite a week; over the past 4 days I have logged quite a few hours in training and observation at the YWCA's House of Peace shelter, with several more shadow shifts to go until I am completely on my own. I'm still learning all of the policies and procedures in place at the shelter, and I am hopeful that I'll get it all down.

There were a couple of things that I picked up right away:

1) Domestic violence affects women from a variety of backgrounds. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, age, socio-economic status, disability, or any other factor. However, as I learned in training, we tend to see more women from low-income backgrounds come into shelter. It isn't that poorer women are abused more--it's just that shelters tend to be a more common solution for this group. Wealthier women may have more connections or resources in place, allowing them to stay with friends, in hotels, or to travel out of the area. Again, this is a generalization, not a hard and fast rule. Abuse is all about power and control, and abusers frequently exercise control over every aspect of a woman's life, no matter what their income. From visits with her family, to outings with friends, and even limiting employment, an abuser can ultimately isolate her from the outside world, thus cutting off those resources. Women from high-income backgrounds may come through our door because it is their only safe option--it's the only path left to escape their abusers.

2) Domestic violence is a big problem for women. You might be saying: "Yes, Kaitlyn, it is. *pat on the head* Good girl, here's a cookie." But I don't think we realize how BIG of a problem domestic violence is in this country. Based on a survey conducted by the National Institute of Justice and the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And every year in this country, more than 1000 women are killed by their partners or husbands. That's four women every day dying at the hands of their abusers.

Despite knowing how prevalent domestic violence is in our society and working in a domestic violence shelter, I still find myself surprised when we have a new resident or the hotline rings with a woman needing help with leaving her abuser. I guess it's just hard to stomach the fact that millions of women (and their children) are in danger every day.

I continue to find correlations between my work with the Butler County Rape Crisis Program and my work with the YWCA. Sexual assault and domestic violence are close cousins, as one can be categorized as the other. Remember, a majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone known to the woman, like a boyfriend or even a husband. In these types of relationships, rape is domestic violence, as it is used to take power and control away from the victim. Similarly, topics of domestic violence and sexual assault are clouded with all sorts of myths and misconceptions, usually wrongly blaming the victim for the abuse. In the coming weeks and months I will explore more of those issues and debunk the myths--someone's got to!